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  • Sam DiFranco

Don’t Let Parenting Drown Your Marriage.


Between household chores, jobs, extracurricular activities for the kids, and all the other responsibilities that are on your plate you are often left with no time for your marriage. You don’t get to talk much, you only see each other right before bed when you are exhausted, and you’ve become less and less intimate over time. Although you are doing an outstanding job with your parenting and it is understandable that you have little time for yourselves, you must take the time to reconnect with your partner. 

A few simple changes can help shift the focus from the kids back to the marriage:

  1. Establish a date night. Set aside one evening per week for a romantic date night. If you can’t manage to get a sitter for the night then give the kids an activity to do that will keep them occupied for a couple hours and tell them not to bother the two of you while you have dinner together. 

  2. Reconsider the kid’s schedule. Don’t overload your schedules with extracurricular activities, instead let each child have only one activity at a time so you have more time to do other things as a family and couple.

  3. Balance kid time and couple time. Take turns staying in the the kids while one of you goes out with friends. But make sure you also have those date nights too so your not just seeing each other when your handing off the kids. 

  4. Find an activity you can enjoy together. Find a dance class, a favorite hiking spot, or just go out to dinner with your friends. Anything that you enjoy doing together and that will give you something to talk about instead of issues with the kids. 

  5. Intimacy. You don’t have time? Well make some. Get the children to bed, turn off the computers and TV and spend some quality time together. Decompress, talk about your day, give each other a back rub, or be sexually intimate.

  6. Make plans. There is no need for spontaneity all the time, especially when you have children. Relationships take maintenance and planning, make some room in your schedule and fit some plans in. 

Reconnecting takes a re-evaluation of priorities and making some changes in your schedules. To preserve and grow their relationship, the adults need to take care of their own needs as well as their children’s. 

Check out our website for more tips on maintaining your marriage, and how we can help you reconnect with your partner.

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