There is nothing wrong with being nice, we all know that the world needs more kind people in it. But, there is something wrong with being too nice to the point where people use and abuse you. It is important to be nice in a way that’s healthy for everyone involved, including yourself.
Below are keys to gaining appreciation and respect.
Practice self-respect. A healthy sense of control comes from exercising your right to set your own priorities, say “no” without feeling guilty, protect yourself from harm, choose healthy relationships, get what you pay for, and create your own happiness in life. No one can take this power away from you unless you allow it.
Change your attitude about having to be nice all the time. There is a big difference between being nice because you want to and being nice because you have to. The first comes from the heart, while the other feels like a burden. No one should be expected to be nice all the time, It’s not reasonable or real.
Don’t try to please everyone and don’t try to please any one person all the time. No one can please everyone all the time, so please don’t even try. People who receive your giving on a regular basis and don’t reciprocate or thank you are also more likely to take it for granted. Gain respect first, so that your generosity, when you do offer it, is truly appreciated.
Know how to say “no” gently but firmly. To be able to say “no” gently but firmly is to practice the art of communication. It allows you to stand your ground while keeping the peace.
Know that you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. Sometimes we feel obligated to do things for others because we don’t want them to feel bad, even when it’s unreasonable for us to go out of our way. We may be so concerned about how others might react if they don’t get what they want that we submerge our own feelings to theirs. If we are being fair and reasonable and we deny an unreasonable request and they don’t like it, so be it.
There is nothing wrong with offering your kindness and generosity to those in need or to the well-deserving. At the same time, it’s healthy and wise to be a good person who also knows how to set appropriate boundaries. Nice people deserve the same love, appreciation, and respect they give to others.