If you are considering counseling in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, after an affair, the most important thing to do to prepare for couples therapy is for both of you to commit to at least a handful of visits—this increases your chances of success in marriage counseling at Affordable Counseling Center in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL. Making sure that the affair is disclosed prior to entering therapy will improve your odds of staying together, too.
Who Should Attend Marriage Counseling?
Marriage or couple’s counseling in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, can be utilized by anyone in a committed relationship who needs support in navigating their relational issues. It can be for those who are dating with the intent to become engaged, those who are recently engaged, newly weds, or those who have been married for years. Couples counseling in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, can improve any kind of relationship.
How To Find The Right Couples Counselor For You
One of the easiest place to start your search for a marriage and couples counselor in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, is through an online therapist directory. If you want a more personal touch and are willing to confide in a family member, friend, physician, or religious leader, they may know a licensed therapist in your area with whom they’ve had positive interactions.
Since trauma is a very important part of affairs, it’s important to find a therapist in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, who understands trauma—not just how it impacts a person’s mood but also how it impacts the brain. Ask the therapist how they plan to address that component of the affair recovery.
Potential questions to ask your counselor before starting therapy include:
Do you have experience working with affairs?
What is your success rate? How do you define success?
What is your position on telling couples to divorce/stay together?
Do you have experience with things like sex addiction, pornography addiction, alcoholism, other substance addictions, gambling, etc.?
Are you familiar with attachment styles?
Another option for couples considering divorce who are experiencing some ambivalence is discernment counseling. This is often brief work with a therapist in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, that’s focused on gaining clarity and confidence in a path forward.
Regardless of the exact approach you move forward with, finding a therapist in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, you trust is key. If you don’t have any confidence in your counselor after 3-4 sessions, then move on and find another one.
When to Walk Away From a Relationship After Infidelity
Some therapists in Tampa FL, and Brandon FL, are comfortable telling clients they think the relationship isn’t salvageable while others are not. In either event, it’s ultimately up to the people in the relationship to make that choice. Sometimes, one partner behaves in ways that signal they’re not ready to change. If that’s the case, it may be time to walk away.
Signs that your partner may not be ready to do the work are:
Refusal to attend therapy
Attending sessions but not participating fully or canceling sessions frequently
Continuing to see the person they had the affair with or continuing to act out sexually outside the marriage
Refusal to hear your side of the situation and only wanting to talk about their own pain, feelings, or needs
Using any kind of threat (verbal, physical, emotional, financial) to keep you in the relationship or to get you to stop talking about the affair
Continuing to be evasive when asked direct questions such as “Why were you home late last night?” or, “Have you seen that person since you told me?”
Refusal to turn over passwords to accounts, have GPS monitoring on their devices, or be fully transparent in an effort to restore trust
Refusal to undergo testing for sexually transmitted diseases
Blaming you for the affair without acknowledging any of their own responsibility
Minimizing your feelings of betrayal (using sayings like, “It was only once,” or, “I don’t love that person.”)
Final Thoughts On Marriage Counseling After Infidelity
Most couples survive infidelity and actually report levels of happiness that are as good if not better than couples who sought help for other problems. While it can be painful to talk about betrayal and admit the ways we may have contributed to the problem, the rewards are substantial. Learning healthier ways to manage problems can promote healing and lead to a sense of pride for both partners.