Mourning occurs in response to an individuals own terminal illness or the loss of a loved one or animal.Everyone grieves differently, some people wear their emotions on their sleeve while others may grieve internally and don’t even cry. There are five stages of grief, individuals spend different lengths of time on each stage of grief and loss and with different levels of intensity. The five stages should be used as a guide to understand where you are in your grieving process. Not every one goes through all five stages and they don’t go in any specific order. Denial and isolation This is a temporary response that gets us through the first initial feeling of pain. We deny and block out the reality of the situation. Anger We sometimes resent the deceased person for leaving us and causing such great pain, we feel guilty for being angry and this causes us more anger. Bargaining We often feel as if we need to gain control, we say to ourselves “if only we went to the doctors sooner,” or “if only I had been nicer to them.” We make a deal with a higher power in order to delay the inevitable. Depression We may find ourselves worrying about the costs and plans for the burial and funeral, we find ourselves worried that we haven’t spent enough time with others who are also grieving and depend on us. We also may be more quietly depressed, this is the time that we prepare to say goodbye to our loved ones. Acceptance Reaching this stage is a blessing, unfortunately not everyone gets to this stage. This stage gives you peace and calmness about the loss of your loved one. Grief and loss is a personal process, there is no right way to grieve and there is no time limit to it. Nobody can help you get through it more easily or really understand what you are going through, but having others there to support you and to comfort you can be beneficial. The Licensed Mental Health Therapists at Star Point Counseling Center can be there for you in your darkest hours holding the light of faith and giving you hope, renewal, and strength. Call us today! (813)244-1251 #griefandloss #lossofalovedone #Grief #mourning #stagesofgrief #loss

You don’t have to have a nice body, great accomplishments, or be popular to have self-esteem. Self-esteem simply means appreciating yourself for who you are, faults, imperfections and all. The difference between someone who has good self-esteem compared to someone who doesn’t is the acknowledgement of your strengths and weaknesses, and being able to move through the world with that knowledge. So how do you improve your self-esteem? Check out these 6 tips. Do some inventory. You can’t fix what you don’t know, so get a piece of paper out and write down 10 strengths and 10 weaknesses. Doing this lets you see things you are great at and things that may also need some work. People don’t change overtime, so slowly start working on each of your weaknesses and you will see your list of weaknesses getting smaller and smaller over the years. Set realistic expectations. Nothing will bomb your self-esteem more than setting an unrealistic expectation and realizing you haven’t met it yet. If we stop setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves, then we will stop beating ourselves up for not meeting them. Acknowledge your accomplishments and mistakes. Nobody is perfect, so just let that go now. Instead acknowledge your accomplishments and also your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and it is an opportunity to learn and grow so don’t be ashamed. Explore yourself.  Its not just about knowing your strengths and weaknessed, but also opening up to new opportunities, thoughts, and trying out new things, new viewpoints, and new friendships. Adjust your own self image. Self-esteem is useless if you base it on an older version of you that no longer exists. We change everyday, things that we were once good at we may not be good at anymore and vice versa. We have to keep adjusting our self-image and self-esteem to match our current abilities and skills, not those of our past. Don’t compare yourself to others. Another thing that will bomb our self-esteem, unfair comparisons. It may be hard, but you have to put an end to the comparisons. The only person you should be competing against is the person you were yesterday. Changing your self-esteem takes time, trial-and-error, and patience on your part. Make an effort to be more fair and more realistic with your own self. People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. Visit our website for information on our services and how we can help you live the life that you deserve! www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #improveselfesteem #self #selfimprovements #starpointcounselingcenter #selfesteem

Between household chores, jobs, extracurricular activities for the kids, and all the other responsibilities that are on your plate you are often left with no time for your marriage. You don’t get to talk much, you only see each other right before bed when you are exhausted, and you’ve become less and less intimate over time. Although you are doing an outstanding job with your parenting and it is understandable that you have little time for yourselves, you must take the time to reconnect with your partner. A few simple changes can help shift the focus from the kids back to the marriage: Establish a date night. Set aside one evening per week for a romantic date night. If you can’t manage to get a sitter for the night then give the kids an activity to do that will keep them occupied for a couple hours and tell them not to bother the two of you while you have dinner together. Reconsider the kid’s schedule. Don’t overload your schedules with extracurricular activities, instead let each child have only one activity at a time so you have more time to do other things as a family and couple. Balance kid time and couple time. Take turns staying in the the kids while one of you goes out with friends. But make sure you also have those date nights too so your not just seeing each other when your handing off the kids. Find an activity you can enjoy together. Find a dance class, a favorite hiking spot, or just go out to dinner with your friends. Anything that you enjoy doing together and that will give you something to talk about instead of issues with the kids. Intimacy. You don’t have time? Well make some. Get the children to bed, turn off the computers and TV and spend some quality time together. Decompress, talk about your day, give each other a back rub, or be sexually intimate. Make plans. There is no need for spontaneity all the time, especially when you have children. Relationships take maintenance and planning, make some room in your schedule and fit some plans in. Reconnecting takes a re-evaluation of priorities and making some changes in your schedules. To preserve and grow their relationship, the adults need to take care of their own needs as well as their children’s. Check out our website for more tips on maintaining your marriage, and how we can help you reconnect with your partner. www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #parenting #howtobalancelife #couplescounseling #marriagecounseling #balance #marriage #family

When dealing with your child’s tantrum it can be very difficult to keep yourself from having a meltdown of your own. Every tantrum is a result of the child not getting what they want. They get frustrated when you don’t acknowledge their wants and needs. The question that every parent wants answered, “how do you tame the tantrums?” Try these tricks that experts and other moms swear by! Ignore it-  During a tantrum their emotions take over, overriding the frontal cortex of the brain, the area that makes decisions and judgments.Reasoning won’t help because that part of their brain is turned off. Nothing you try to do will work, it will only make things worse. So just ignore it, when they calm down then you can talk. Give them space- Let them get their anger and feelings out. Make sure there is nothing that they can harm themselves with in case the tantrum spirals out of control. They will get everything out and be able to calm down and regain control. Create a diversion- Children have pretty short attention spans, which makes it easy to divert their attention from a meltdown. When they are on the verge or already having a tantrum try getting them engaged and interested in something else. Get to the bottom of their frustration- For toddlers under 2 years old most of the tantrums come from frustrations of not being able to get their point across. Let them show you what they are frustrated about. Teaching them signs for things such as milk or tired can also work wonders. Hugs- Hugs make kids feel secure and let them know that you care about them. Next time your child is freaking out, give them a big, firm hug without saying anything. It can really help them calm down. Incentives- As long as it is under your terms and ahead of time, give them an incentive to behave. If you are going to dinner, tell them if they behave they can watch a movie before bed. If a tantrum starts to occur remind them of that incentive. Get them out of there- Changing scenery helps change attitude. If they are having a tantrum at a restaurant, take them outside away from people and it will help them calm down faster. Dealing with tantrums can be really frustrating and difficult. But by planning ahead, staying calm and applying these specific strategies, you can defuse them. And if the tantrum doesn’t quiet, try to ride it out. Visit our website for information on how we can help you learn how to manage your child’s tantrums! www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #children #difficultchildren #tantrums #kids #tamingtantrums #starpointcounselingcenter #tempertantrums

When it comes to being the best that you can be, it’s all about personal growth. If you are willing to learn new skills, behaviors, and habits the possibilities for a better you are endless. Through this willingness to grow, learn, and develop you can improve our relationships, career, happiness, and health. We all have the seed of success within us but it has to be nourished so it can grow. The first step is self-awareness,you must asses where you currently are in order to figure out where you want to be. You need to figure out what is in your way so that you can start our journey of personal growth and becoming a better you. Make time for reflection. Self growth comes by reflecting on our choices and mistakes that we have made in the past. Slow down and make time to reflect on your past experiences, become more aware of the beliefs and thoughts that you want to dominate your life. Determine values. Our values are important to us, and they play a huge role in our daily decision making. Determine what these values are and figure out if you are living your life according to these values. Assess strengths and weaknesses. There are certain skills and characteristics that you have that come natural to you and help better your life. There are also weaknesses that may get in the way of what you want and being a better you. Build on the strengths and work on developing your weaknesses. Examine habits. Whether positive or negative, your habits add up and can have an impact on your future. Ask yourself if your daily habits are hindering you or helping you grow into a better person. Take a poll. The best way to increase our awareness about our personal growth is to ask other people who are close to you. They can help you determine areas where you may still need work and acknowledge progress that you have already made. Surround yourself with people who care about your growth and will help you get to where you want to be. Self awareness is key to personal growth. It helps you stay on track with the desired results you want in your future. Visit our website to find out information on how we can help you become a better you! Start living the life that you deserve to live! www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #habits #strengths #reflection #personalgrowth #values #weaknesses #selfawareness #beabetteryou #starpointcounselingcenter

Those with anxiety often feel that they are stuck and are unsure of how to make themselves feel better. But there are many tools and techniques to use in order to manage your anxiety effectively. Try these healthy ways to cope with anxiety: Take a deep breath. Deep diaphragmatic breathing is great at reducing anxiety because it activates the body’s relaxation response. Accept that you’re anxious. Remind yourself that anxiety is just an emotional reaction, and accept it. Realize your brain is playing tricks on you. Your mind can make you think you are having a heart attack when it is only a panic attack. Question your thoughts. When you’re anxious your mind starts coming up will outlandish and crazy ideas that aren’t realistic. Ask yourself, “is this really likely to happen?”, “is this really true or does it just seem that way?”. Use a calming visualization. Practice picturing yourself on a the sandy shore of your favorite beach, or sitting on the lawn of your favorite park. Be an observer. Practice observing (thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations, judgment) with compassion. Use positive self-talk. Anxiety can produce a lot of negative talk, so tell yourself positive coping statements, such as “my anxiety is making me feel horrible today, but I have tools I can use to manage it.” Focus on the present. Anxiety usually makes people obsess about things that might happen in the future. Instead it is best to take a deep breath and focus on what is happening right now. Focus on a meaningful activity. When feeling anxious it is helpful to focus on a goal driven activity. The worst thing you can do is sit around obsessing about how you are feeling. Keep busy with your every day life, don’t sit around and let the anxiety get to you. Anxiety can feel like having chains around your feet, weighing you down. It can be very overwhelming at times. But by taking small steps – like the ones above – you can minimize your anxiety and cope effectively. Visit our website or give us a call for information on how we can help you manage your anxiety! starpointcounselingtampa.com #anxiety #starpointcounselingcenter #tipsonanxiety

Why, you ask? Because coffee can be a pretty amazing thing for your brain, your skin and your body. Here is why you should wake up and have a cup of Joe every day: Just smelling the coffee can make you less stressed.  Researchers have found that the aroma of coffee lowers stress levels. Coffee lessens the symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease. Not only does it help those with Parkinson’s control their movements, but people are also less likely to develop the disease. Coffee can make you feel happier. The reason behind the happiness coffee provides? The antioxidants we get from it. Less likely to be depressed. A study found that those who drank 4 or more cups of coffee a day were 10 percent less likely to be depressed. Lower levels of suicide. Drinking between 2 and 4 cups of coffee a day reduces the risk of suicide by about 50 percent. Coffee acts as a mild antidepressant by aiding in the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and noradrenaline. Coffee helps keep your brain healthier for longer. Moderate coffee consumption can reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s or delay the onset. Coffee allows your brain t work in a more efficient and smarter way. Coffee is pretty awesome, so drink up! Check out our sister blog for more fun and interesting reads!  starpointcounselingcenter.wordpress.com #coffeebenefits #benefitsofcoffee #lowerdepression #coffee #lessstress #Suicide

This model was introduced about 20 years ago by alcoholism researchers Carlo C. DiClemente and J. O. Prochaska, to help professionals understand their clients who had addiction problems and help them to change. It is based on personal observation of how people went about changing problem behaviors like smoking, drinking, and even over eating. The stages of the model are: Precontemplation. Individuals in this stage don’t believe they have a problem, they think everyone who tells them that they have a problem is exaggerating. Precontemplators don’t want to be told what to do, they have given up hope about changing, and have no inertia to even consider change. Contempation. These individuals are willing to consider the possibility that they may have a problem. They are still walking the fence when it comes to change but are interested to learn about their problem and treatment. Determination/Preparation. They have decided to stop their problem behavior. Most individuals in this stage will make a serious attempt to stop in the near future, they are prepared and committed to action. Action. This is the stage where individuals put their plan into action. This stage typically involves making some type of public commitment to stop their problem behavior in order to get external confirmation of the plan.They may have agreed to counseling, AA, or some other form of treatment. Making public commitments not only helps them obtain support that they need to recover, but also creates external monitors. Maintenance, relapse, and recycling. The action stage normally takes three to six months to complete. You have to build a new pattern of behavior over time in order for change to be successful. In this stage your life free of problem behaviors is being established and the threat of the behavior coming back is becoming less and less. Although the possibility of relapse is always present, those who relapse learn from the relapse and returning to sobriety strengthens a persons determination to stay sober. Termination. Although termination is not apart of the stages of change model, it is the ultimate goal. At this stage the individual no longer find the problem behavior to be tempting or a threat to their sobriety. They have extreme confidence that they can cope without the fear of relapsing. If you or someone you may know needs help with their alcoholism, smoking, or some other problem behavior then get them the help that they need. Our counselors at Star Point Counseling Center are well experience and prepared to help you or your loved one get through all of these stages and begin living a happier ad healthier life. Live the life you know that you deserve! (813)244-1251 starpointcounselingtampa.com #termination #alcoholism #problembehaviors #maintenance #addiction #stagesofchange #change #determination #smoking #contemplation #precontemplation #starpointcounselingcenter #action

When it comes to our relationships, it is almost always easier to see the flaws in our partners then in ourselves. When it comes to finger pointing, both partners are usually right, and both are wrong. The only way to better your relationship is to always focus on empowering yourself. You can only change your part of the equation. Take charge and change the behaviors that are holding you back from a better relationship. Don’t build a case. Case building is a huge problem in a relationship. Once we start to see our partner a certain way, we start perceiving their actions through a negative filter.In these cases, we can either feed our feelings of blame or try to keep a more balanced perspective about what’s going on. Drop it. Once the blame game begins it is hard to stop and resolve who did what or who’s at fault. There is NEVER a winner when you play the blame game. Sometimes it’s worth dropping the past, putting down your guard, and just being nice to each other. Calm yourself down. Relationships trigger us in ways we rarely expect. When we feel triggered, we should try focusing on relaxing before reacting. We can better manage our partner’s temper by calming ourselves down first, then approaching them with the issue. Reflect on your patterns. Once we have calmed down, you can take a step back and reflect. ask yourself why and what made you trigger. Does my reaction seem like an overreaction? Look for the thing you hate the most that your partner does and ask yourself what you did or said right before that. Have compassion.  When we understand the reasons why we both get triggered, we have more compassion for ourselves and our partner. We can have more compassion by always aiming to see the scenario from our partner’s eyes and understand how they view the situation. Be open to feedback. It is very important that we are open to what our partner has to say. Don’t be defensive when your partner is giving you feedback, look for the truth in what they are saying. It will benefit you more than arguing every detail. Communicate what you felt. Once we are calm and we’ve given our partner the chance to express their perceptions, we can explain how we felt without placing blame or feeling victimized. We can also provide feedback that is direct, yet compassionate. We should avoid using victimized language or generalized statements. Once we start to see patterns in ourselves, we can challenge ourselves to act in ways we respect and repair when we make a mistake.When we stop placing blame, we shift our focus inward.By taking power over ourselves, we give our relationship its best chance of remaining equal, passionate, and fulfilling. If you and your partner take part in playing the blame game and don’t know how to end it, there is something you can do. Call Star Point Counseling Center! Our Licensed Mental Heath Counselors can work with you and your partner at ending the blame game once and for all. (813)244-1251 #blamegame #blamingothers #starpointcounselingcenter #blaming #blame

We all get hurt at least once in our lifetime, you can’t possibly be an adult or teen alive today who hasn’t gone through some kind of painful and hurtful experience in the past.I understand that it hurts, but would you rather get back to living life or continue to dwell on something that cannot be changed? People who hold on to these past hurts often relive the pain over and over in their minds.  The only way to move on and to accept new happiness into your life is to make room for it by getting rid of the pain and hurt. Five ways to let go of past hurts: Make the decision to let it go. Like the popular song from the Disney movieFrozen says, “Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door.” You have to make a conscious decision to let it go and slam the door behind you. You have the choice to stop reliving the past and playing every detail out in your mind. Express your pain, and responsibility. Express the pain that you feel, whether it is directly to the person who may have caused the pain, venting to a friend, or writing it down in a journal. Get it all out of your system at once. Stop playing the victim and blaming others. Even though you may not mainly be responsible for the hurt, there may be something you could have done differently, or maybe you let it get to you way more than you should have. Take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put your happiness into the hands of someone else. Focus on the present. Once you have let go its time to stop living in the past and start living for today. Once you start focusing on the here and now, there is no room left for you to think about the past. If the past begins to creep into your mind acknowledge it only for a moment and then bring yourself back to the present moment. Forgive. We may not be able to forget a person’s behaviors but everybody deserves forgiveness. Forgiveness is a way of letting something go. It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view even though you may not agree with what they did. And forgiving yourself can be an important part, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt. Nobody’s life should be defined by their pain. It is not healthy, it adds to our stress, it hurts our ability to focus, study and work, and it impacts other relationships we have. Do something different today and welcome happiness and joy back into your life. If you are struggling with letting go and moving on from a past hurt check out our website to find out how we can help you. Whether you are unable to move on from a minor break-up, infidelity, or the loss of a loved one, we are here to help you learn to let go and begin living a happier life. www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #StarPointCounseling #Movingon #hurt #lettinggo #pasthurts

The ability to cope is not something we are born with. Coping involves emotional and practical skills that our children learn through both observation and direct teaching. As parents it is our job to not only celebrate the good times but also prepare them for the bad times as well. Every disappointment in a child’s life is an opportunity to show them that they are strong enough to overcome it. Here are some ways we can encourage healthy coping skills: DON’T ignore a problem. Avoiding the problem will only worsen with time. DO encourage your child to face their problems, facing small problems gives them the practice they need to solve big ones. It is also important to teach your child when and how to reach out for support when life hands them a big one. DON’T step in too soon. We have to let our children learn how to handle situations by themselves without always coming to their rescue. DO have confidence in your child, with our help they can learn to use their hearts and minds to handle a difficult situation. DON’T agree with your child that life is unfair, or mean. Yes, it may be true sometimes but having a negative attitude about life will leave them unhappy. DO acknowledge that sometimes life is unfair and people are mean but if there is nothing we can do about a negative situation we need to teach our children not to dwell on it and move on. DON’T let yourself get down or depressed if your child is depressed. It adds more burden to the problem because kids don’t want to see their parents sad. DO teach your child to engage with problems. Have them talk out exactly what happened and why. Work together to decide what they can change and what they can’t. You may not be able to change a situation but you can always learn something from it. DON’T accept tantrums, acting out, or helplessness. No problem has ever been solved by tempers, aggression, or just giving up. DO listen and support their feelings, we need to let our children know that it is okay to let their emotions out, but not to make someone the target. It is important to teach your child how to calm themselves down and get past their feelings. If you have a child that is not coping well and you are having a hard time dealing with their depression, anger or tantrums, let us know! We can help teach your child coping skills that they will need to get past big or small problems that they may face now and in the future. (813)244-1251 www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #coping #childrencoping #dosanddonts #teachingchildren #copingskills #starpointcounselingcenter

Friendships contribute significantly to our psychical and emotional health. The companionship provided by friends can help ward off depression, boost your self-esteem, and provide support. But occasionally we come across some mediocre friends and we feel pressured to keep it going, out of a sense of loyalty, fear, or guilt, which contributes more stress in the long run than cutting ties. Sometimes friendships wither or fade as two people grow and change, and it doesn’t have to be someone’s fault. Here are a few clear signs that it may be time to cut loose from a friendship: You do not like who you are when around them. Maybe when you’re around them you feel passive-aggressive, catty, envious, or resentful, and you don’t tend to act this way around other friends. Your friend brings out bad behaviors in you. Maybe your drinking too much, lying more often, or getting into more arguments with other loved ones. There are many ways that a friend can be a bad influence, other than just skipping school when you were teens. The friendship feels significantly unbalanced. There is no reciprocity in your friendship. Maybe you do so much for your friend and get nothing in return, or it may be the other way around and you don’t have the interest in doing the same for them. The words you would use to describe them aren’t flattering. Maybe your constantly making fun of them in your head or really just don’t really like them anymore. If you find yourself describing them in ways that are not flattering it may be a sign. Your friend just doesn’t get you. Maybe they misunderstand you all the time, or make you feel embarrassed about how you dress or what you eat. You might feel so put down that you censor yourself when your around them. If this is something that doesn’t just feel like a phase you and your friend are going through then it may be time to consider if this friendship is healthy or not. Not all friendships last forever, it may be time to take the next step and cut loose. If you are currently in this situation and you are unsure of how to move on from a friendship or if your decision is weighing heavily on your heart and starting to affect you, give us a call. We will help you take small steps to remove yourself from this toxic friendship you may be in and start making healthy friendships. (813)244-1251 www.starpointcounselingtampa.com #toxicfriendships #toxic #badfriendship #FRIENDSHIP #badfriends #FRIENDS #starpointcounselingcenter